Grande Prairie, Alberta

I redneck, blue collar, hard nosed conservative city located in Northern Alberta, Canada. It has a population of approximately 50000 and is the service center for approximately 250000, making it seem larger than it really is at times. On the plus side, there are more millionaires per capita than any other city in Canada. However, this will inevitably be passed by Fort McMurray and both of these cities only have the amount of wealth that they do because of oil. Most people who live in Grande Prairie are too pig ignorant to comprehend that.

The average citizen is selfish, greedy, fat, sleazy, in other words, the personification of every thing that's wrong in western civilization. Once the oil wealth runs out, most of the people in Grande Prairie will resort to their booze and do fuck all with their lives.

Useful things, such as education, are not valued in this sleazy "metropolis. The only classy bar is Maddhatters, the others are complete and utter shit. Most of the teenagers have at least one STI, which is a result of fucking and/or sucking anything they find remotely attractive.

Most of the people who reside here generally only do so for the money. Most of the ones who win the lottery/retire get the fuck out of there. Another classy, wonderful thing about this city is that there is an enormous undercurrent of acceptability for those who drink and drive.

A truly selfish, greedy, miserable place.

Guy 1: There is nothing to do in Grande Prairie Alberta accept buy a big jacked up truck, do drugs, and whore my life away.
Guy 2: Yeah, this city is sure a shit stain on humanity if you ask me!

Hill Billy 1: Fuck yeah, I got my dick sucked in a port a potty at a party. I work in the oil patch and make $100K+ per year. I have more STIs than the alphabet has letters. Woo hoo! Only in Grande Prairie, Alberta baby!
Hill Billy 2: Dude, you are a fucking alpha male/god! Only in Grande Prairie, Alberta could I possibly accomplish this!

38👍 33👎