Turtles and Conquistador

Regionally known in Northern Florida as a sexual tradition in which a blindfolded male suiter hangs a map of the trailer park low on a wall, chugs a 4 Loko, spins three times, and walks toward the map while neked. Where his erect member touches the map before he falls down, is where the object of his affection must hide.

Once hidden, the “turtle” must scream, “Ca caaaw!” At that point, the pursuer can remove his blindfold and roam the trailer park still neked, searching under each of his neighbor’s trailers.

The game ends once the “turtle” is located and humped or the local authorities stop the search.

“What’re ya in for?”
“Caught stealin’ a catalytic converter. You?”
“Turtles and Conquistador until the law showed up.”
“Well you ol’ salty horn dog! Been there, done that.”