cuntsuck

Slang for cunnilingus as practised by adolescents and pre-adolescents in the North of England. Mainly because they think they invented themselves and don't know the correct term.

Bored boy to equally bored girl:
"Eh, Sharon, you wanna coom up the fields for a cuntsuck"
Girl to boy:
"Watevva, but doan expect me to wank you off, smeghead"
B: "How about sucking me?
G: "in your dreams, cheese-dick"
B: "OK, but doan blame me if I get bored and stop just before you come".
G: "Just try it, Wayne"

18👍 5👎

oneskin

The medical term describing the condition where the skin normally over the glans penis only extends to cover one quarter of it. It occurs naturally either at birth, or following puberty, and must NOT be confused with a poorly performed circumcision. Some scientists think this is evidence that human males are evolving to function without a prepuce.

As a boy, David had often tried to make his oneskin longer by pulling it. He never succeeded, but he DID have lots of fun!
After years of wondering, Tony eventually plucked up the courage to ask his dad if his oneskin meant he was a quqrter Jewish.

forelips

The part of the foreskin that in some human males overhangs the end of the penis by a variable amount. When they are longer than normal, and/or have careless owners, they are in great danger of painfully meshing with metal zippers, prompting a quick visit to the hospital ER. While the forelips are mostly unremarkable, they contain very many blood vessels and sensitive nerves. They should not be trimmed or removed, unless a competent urologist confirms they are excessively long, and may interfere with urination or procreation.

Adam had a reputation for being extremely well-hung, but most of it was due to the extra long forelips he was born with!
While stationed in Antarctica, Brads's forelips got a severe case of frostbite. Luckily they were long enough that the base doctor could simply trim them back to a normal average length.