fappily married

That point in your marriage when you and your wife aren't having sex anymore; you just masterbate more often.

Hey, dude, are you and your wife still happily married? No, just fappily married.

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happily divorced

The opposite of happily married. Just really glad to be rid of that bitch.

Dude, are you still happily married?
No, bruh, I'm happily divorced.

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