Goonch

Hamburger that has been browned and broken up for use in low brow culinary dishes such as Bolgnese sauce, Hamburger Helper, or Goonch Mloop Snerfels.

Please hand me a can of mloop, the goonch is almost ready.

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Mloop

Canned cream of mushroom soup. Mloop is an onomatopoeia referring to the sound it makes when dumped out of the can. Used in countless hot dishes including the venerated Goonch Mloop Snerfels.

Here's your damned mloop! You better not burn the goonch!

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'na

Abbreviated form of canned tuna. Word commonly used in hasty situations when there is insufficient time to say the entire word, "tuna".

Damn it Randy! You burned the goonch! Gimme some 'na, and mind the mloop!

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snerfels

Generic white rice to be added as the starch component to a hot dish, such as Goonch Mloop Snerfels. White rice served as a side dish and not a component of a hot dish is known as "rice".

Al-righty then, the snerfels are ready, and here is the mloop. God damn it Randy! You burned the goonch! Now I will have to open a can of 'na!

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splork

Canned cranberry sauce. Splork is an onomatopoeia of the sound this food as it slides out of the can. Proper presentation of this food is to leave it whole, in the shape of the can and lying on its side on the presentation plate. May be garnished with red lettuce.

Damn it Randy! I asked you to plate the splork, but you mashed it up. Now it is just some damn cranberry sauce! Way to ruin Thanksgiving, meathead!

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