Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is one of the only two actors to have seven consecutive $100 million plus blockbusters on their resume. Further, Forbes ranked Cruise as the most powerful celebrity in 2006. Obviously, Tom could never get these numbers and the associated prestige without being a fan favorite. However, beginning sometime in the early 2000s, it became somewhat fashionable to hate Tom Cruise.

Tom is also notorious for being a "midget", although he really isn't (at 5'7", he stands roughly the same height as the ever popular Joaquin Phoenix). Unfortunately, Tom fell in love with an exceptionally tall woman, 5'9" Katie Holmes, who is 5" taller than the average woman in the U.S. Katie sometimes wears 3" heels, which brings her height to 6'. This dramatic difference really does make poor Tom look like a midget.

In short, Tom used to be a popular actor as evidenced by his numerous blockbuster hits. He was even named People's Sexiest Man Alive in 1990. However, at some point he seems to have been brainwashed and is now a raving lunatic who practices the myth of scientology. There are disturbing reports of him cannibalizing Katie’s placenta, too.

Guy 1: Does Tom Cruise really drink toilet water?
Guy 2: I heard that Tom drinks out of the toilet because he can't reach the sink.

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