A special type of person that resides in the bar scene and is desperate for any chance of "going at it". A crotch monkey is rare but deadly if messed with, and if slept with the monkey you will wake with one or more of these symptoms: Herpies, Super Herpies, Burning pee, itchiness of the genital and/or rectal region, and the super rare California King Crabs. It generally preferred to stay away no matter what.
Lance - "Did you hear Jack slpet with a crotch monkey?"
Allan - "Ya...he said he will never do it again."
Lance - "Why?"
Allan - "Because he said he had to go to the doctor for something called, Cali. King Crabs."
Lance - "California King Crabs?!"
Allan - "Ya, its like red lobster down there."
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