Goleming

Sitting in a dark room for days on end watching whole seasons of TV shows alone.

"Dude, you have to come out with us tonight. You have been Goleming pretty hard."
"Can't. Must finish my Breaking Bad. My precious."

6👍 3👎

button popper

any button up shirt that is too small to where it looks as if the buttons could pop off any moment. Usually when this person breathes in, the shirt becomes void of wrinkles.

Frank: "This shirt is way too tight, but my other dress shirts were dirty."
Alex: "Well at least you have a tie on that button popper. You could put an eye out."

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inflection deflection

when someone, in an effort to seem like they care, pronounces your name differently every time you see each other to deflect from the fact you have nothing to talk about or are too busy to remember anything about this person

Frank: "Benjamin (BEN juh men), what's new?"
Benjamin: "Well I'm getting married in a month."
Frank: "NO WAY MAN! CONGRATULATIONS!"

- 1 month later -

Frank: "So Benjamin (ben juh MEN), how's life?"
Benjamin: "Great. I got married Saturday."
Frank: "NO WAY MAN! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"
Benjamin: "I did and your inflection deflection isn't helping."

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Chat Ninja

That person you wish you didn't know who seems to lurk on facebook or aim waiting for you to log on so they can message you within 2 seconds. You usually know this person from elementary school or they tried to get you in on a pyramid scheme.

6:42 pm <I'mTotallyNotDave> is online
6:42 pm<FamilyGuy24/7> Hey man!! are you sure you don't want to make a ton of money quick selling knives?

6:43 pm<I'mTotallyNotDave> .... effin chat ninja.

6:43 pm<I'mTotallyNotDave> is offline.

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fart camo

the act of clearing your throat, moving your chair, coughing, or making some sort of noise to camouflage the fart you just let loose. This works 34% of the time.

*fart*
*cough*
Alex: "That was some weak fart camo."

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snake belt

the tendency of back seat belts of newer model cars to continually adjust throughout the ride, slowly constricting the victim like an anaconda. This is more prone in overweight individuals, which leaves the belt pressed into their fat approximately 1 inch. The only solution for snake belt is to undo the belt and start the process over again.

Frank: "How long till we get to Chik-Fil-A. I've got a crazy case of snake belt going on back here."
Alex: "Just undo it and start over. You don't wanna end up like Jon Voight."

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fishbowl

When someone has had the unfortunate mishap of dropping their cell phone in the toilet, this is the act of grabbing it out quickly, resembling someone trying to grasp a fish from a fishbowl.

Well that's the last time I fishbowl my phone out of the toilet. I'm officially boycotting texting and crapping at the same time

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