Connecticut

Some stuff you ought to know about Connecticut:

-Let's set the record straight, Connecticut is not really New England, go to Massachusetts if you want the real New England (but would you really want to deal with those awful Masshole drivers?)

-All the "New England" this or that crap in the state is fake, less than ten years old, and pushed by the state government in order to attract New Yorker tourists and there money, just like the Indian Casinos in the redneck part of the state (see Eastern Connecticut).

-Let's be real it's more like New York (Mid-Atlantic) than any New England state.

-It has many guidos (New Haven area, cough cough)

-It has lots of Jews (West Hartford's more Jewish than Tel-Aviv)

-It IS diverse (aka the anti-Vermont)

-Relatively well-integrated, at least compared to racist, overly Irish Boston

-It is fast-paced

-It has great (New Haven style) pizza. Boston sucks at making pizza, freckle-faced ginger massholes.

-Lot's of bids here are pretty.

-West Conn people say MAD, East Conn fag boston wannabes say WICKED every chance they get.

-It's not called a fucking Packy, it's either a bodega or a liquor store.

-Hartford and Springfield are NOT twin cities. Hartford wants nothing to do with the even shittier, more pathetic Springfield, Mass.

-Many people take advantage of the proximity to NYC and shop, go to ball games, see shows, and eat at the best restaurants in the world.

-No one goes to Boston unless they want to get drunk and beat up black people with Irish, freckle-faced, ugly, pimply, masshole, ginger red sux fans.

-Everyone ought to hate the Gaytriots, especially after they teased Hartford then retracted their plans to move there, because Hartford was not New England enough.

-People tend to like New Jersey better than Massachusetts. Who cares how it smells, people in Jersey won't hate you and be snobby, WASPY, elitist shits like any masshole would.

-People really aren't that snobby. And those that are, they can go fuck themselves. If you act snobby, you will be compared to Bostonians (Red Sox fan massholes), because they are snobby, do you really want that?

-If you live west of the Connecticut River, you root for NY teams.

-If you are a minority, you root for NY teams (Boston is too damn racist... if you don't believe me, just Google "boston racist").

-If you live east of the Connecticut
River, you root for Boston teams and pretend to live in Massachusetts.

-If you like the Red Sox and live in Yanks territory (West Conn) you are VERY rude and vocal about it.

-If you like the Yanks and live in Red Sox territory (East Conn) you are quiet and unassuming--you don't want to piss off the drunk, belligerent asshole Boston fans.

-East of the river is the only part of the state that can be argued as being part of the true New England. People here are ornery and reserved (nice way of saying parochial) like Massholes.

-Most people in the state live in Western Connecticut (more populated and industrialized)

-The majority of the population lives in metro NYC (Fairfield, Litchfield, and New Haven counties combined)

-It's true that many people are wealthy, but many are also impoverished.

-There ARE indeed rich people outside of Fairfield County.

-Long Island Sound can be dirty in areas.

-People are real, unlike Fakeifornia.

-Nobody in this state (meaning YOU eastern Connecticut) liked the Red Sox prior to 2004.

-Hartford and Bridgeport are very dangerous. Waterbury and New Haven are also pretty bad, but not as much as those two.

-Hartford isn't a city, it's a big shitty town. New York is a city. Nobody in West Conn cares about Boston.

-Central Connecticut gets overrun on weekends by New Yorkers, New Jersyans, Rhode Islanders, and Massholes who like to shop here and not at their own fucking stores.

-An enormous wall should be built to keep the Massholes out, that, or $50 tolls to get in from Massachusetts.

Tourist: Connecticut is quintessentially New England.
Me: No it ain't. Massachusetts is a shithole we DON'T want to associate with.
Tourist: How would you know?
Me: I fucking live there.

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