Met Fan

The highest form of intelligent life in the history of the planet earth.

Michael: "Damn, that guy's smart! Did he stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?"

Patrick: He's even smarter than THAT...he's a MET FAN!!!

16👍 11👎

Opa-locka

A city just north of Miami where violent death is considered a hobby.

Honey, I'm driving through Opa-locka. Have you seen my AK-47?

33👍 8👎

LaTrine

The most popular new creative name in the African-American community.

Black dude: "Where LaTrine?"
White gentleman: "On a military base, I suppose."
Black dude: "A military base?!? What the hell he doin' there?"
White gentleman: "Who?"

67👍 28👎

Tom Seaver

The great Met pitcher, whose dick the guy who wrote definition # 1 would love to suck.

The guy who wrote definition # 1 would love to suck Tom Seaver's dick.

11👍 5👎

cheato bandito

A prolific adulterer.

Betty: "I just saw Julie's husband coming out of Motel 6 with yet another cheap slut."
Wilma: "He's a real cheato bandito!"

Veggie wedgie

The act of stuffing supermarket produce up one's ass.

"Honey, I'm stopping at the Farmer's Market on the way home. I'm in the mood for a veggie wedgie!"

5👍 5👎

The Roquefort Files

A 1970's detective drama starring a large slab of blue cheese.

My two favorite detective shows are The Roquefort Files and Barna-brie Jones.

3👍 3👎