Pee-wee trophies

Noun

A cheap plastic trophy given to a young child that signifies no achievement whatsoever.

You kicked the ball! Yay! Have a trophy!

You failed to kick the ball and fell on your face! Yay! Have a trophy!

"My kid has stacks of these crappy Pee-wee trophies at home gathering dust..."

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appt

Appt. Is the abbreviation for "appointment".

One of the many shortened words used in text speech.

person 1: hey dud watsup
person 2: notin much I got a denist appt. @ 4.
person 1: dud it's 4:15 rite now
person 2: OH $#!% I 4got abot sprig 4ward! gtg!

Person 1: ha ha ok good luck

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Wanker's Cramp

Noun

A painful stiffening of the muscles of the hand, characteristically caused by excessive amounts of masturbation.

Wanker's Cramp is likely the most pathetic accidental self-inflicted injury of all time, being just slightly above paper cuts from toilet paper, balsa wood splinters, and pressing the button on Bop It too vigorously.

Jim hasn't left the house for almost 5 days. It's only a manner of time before he gets Wanker's Cramp.

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Text speech

Noun

1. A specific form of language and word formation used almost exclusively in texting and internet discussions. Text speech is comprised of everyday American English that has been heavily fragmented and shortened. Typical text speech has a number techniques in it's use, including:

-inserting numbers of equivalent pronunciation, e.g. 2 = to,
-abbreviations, e.g. appt = appointment,
-famous acronyms such as LOL, FTW, WTF, IMHO, etc.

Making words from symbols, like the following, is not considered text speech.
1|= y()u (4|\| r3@d 7#5, y0|_| /\r3 @ IVI0/\/$+3|2 &33|<

While the general purpose of text speech is to make conversations as short and easy as possible, in some rare cases it can develop such a specific dialect that it's impossible for those who encouter it for the first time to decipher it without help.

2. 'Text speech' could also be used to mean that fucking annoying habit some people have when they phonetically pronounce text acronyms during a normal phone conversation.

Jesse: Oh sorry, berb.
Marcus: What??

20 minutes later

Jesse: You still there?
Marcus: What the hell was that about?
Jesse: I said I would be right back. berb.
Marcus: You mean B R B? God, would you please just drop the text speech? It's really confusing.

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Smoke Some Bone

Verb

A colloquial term for fellatio, otherwise known as a blowjob, or sucking penis. The name is taken from the idea of likening a male genitalia to a cigar and "smoking it", or placing one's mouth on the head of the penis, but is otherwise exchangeable with blowjob in meaning. Smoke Some Bone typically has heavy gay connotation.

Looks like Carl should let out some Steam; time for him to Smoke Some Bone.

Dude, you really have no idea how far Jimmy is in the closet, do you? That "straight" man Smokes Bones daily!

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Polish a pickled gherkin

Verb

To masturbate. Refers exclusively to males.

He was going to polish a pickled gherkin for hours after he finished playing Bayonetta.

Urban Dictionary

A website that has words.

Urban Dictionary is a great website if you like looking at words.