Mowing the Air

A popular phrase used on the sitcom Trailer Park Boys. Taken to indicate a huge waste of time in the face of work.

Matt: Hey Jack, hows that philosophy paper going?

Jack: I don't even know man, I've been mowing the air hard all day today.

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Filthy Dutchman

A hot, bloody shit turd on a plate covered in semen

"This food tastes like shit, I may as well have asked for a Filthy Dutchman" or "I served up a nice hot Filthy Dutchman on their doorstep"