Lesbian

Lesbians are a divine race of extra-dimensional alpha-females whose very existence is one chiefly devoted to the fulfillment of all manner of pleasures and whims. Blessed with supreme beauty, intelligence and grace, their only weakness would appear to be their hellish lust and need for sexual gratification. Perfectly formed, their skin is without blemish, their eyes always shine with a sublime incandescence, and they are possessed of a charm so intense it can melt a man's soul.
Lesbians swim inside rainbows, wear stars around their necks, and, most importantly, possess no hair on their bodies save their heads. It is a well known fact that they can, on impulse, secret honey. They only drink nectar, only eat ambrosia, and never sweat, cry, burp, excrete, cough or suffer from any other widely disgustingly human traits.
Tragically, Lesbians are only attracted to other Lesbians, and thus their lotus musk, their angelic aura, their luscious charms, and their honey, can never be experienced by mere mortals – they are the eternal embodiment of the sacred and the forbidden.

Please note that the Lesbians referred to above are the REAL Lesbians. Anyone who claims to be a Lesbian and has any physical or mental flaws whatsoever, or who cannot breathe moonbeams and secrete honey on demand is an imposter. The author of this post has nothing against homosexuals, but True Lesbians are something else.

-What makes honey, but is not a bee?
-A Lesbian.

When James saw the tip of the Lesbian's toe his soul turned to butter and his eyes burned for hours afterwards. Unless you want to be consumed within the molten fury of your own lust, James advises you to stay away from Lesbians.

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