Cellphone Taser

The jolting effect of receiving a vibrating cellphone call when you least expect it.

Dwayne: "I was sitting in Starbucks quietly reading the paper when I got hit with your cellphone taser. My whole body jumped."

Credit Card Conflict

You're making a purchase over the phone using your credit card. The sales agent asks for your card number. You give the first four digits and pause slightly. Just as you're giving the next four digits, the agent says "Uh-huh," drowning out your second batch of digits. The two of you play "after you, Alphonse" for ten minutes, continually drowning each other out.

Agent: What's your credit card number, please?

You: 1234- (pause)

Agent (simulataneously with your next four numbers): Uh-huh.

You and Agent together: Let's try this again; we're having a credit card conflict.

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Shovel-ready

Of dubious accuracy or authenticity; bullshit.

Janet: I asked Sam why he couldn't come with me to visit my mother this weekend, and he gave me some shovel-ready excuse.

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