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A noble and kind man, indigenous to Stamford Connecticut. This special breed of involuntary retardius better known as a âspecial thinkerâ can apprehend high levels of cognitive function such as urinating upon a bonefire. Felipe is better known for his unique aura of intense inactivity. Felipe can also be used as an adjective in a sense to describe a person, one whom can appear not to have an intact brain, as to have lost it in an accident such as forcing ones head into an inanimate object. Not to be confused with similar species such as the Dan, The A, The Double A, whom of which will be described in another post.
Girl: oh look at that kid wearing the helmet staring at the wall
Boy: yeah that happens sometimes
Girl: heâs such a Felipe Ortiz
Boy: stop hitting your head against the bathroom stall!
Boy 2: how are you hitting two stall doors with your head at the same time?!
Boy 3: Itâs ok heâs pulling a Felipe Ortiz
Boy 1: God the fire is dying, itâs so cold
Boy 2 : I think itâs time to set up sleeping bags and go to sleep
Boy 1: Iâm not going to bed just because the fire is pulling a Felipe Ortiz
âCan we talk privatelyâ- this is a sign that heâs onto your attempts to disengage you being his target, he will often speak to you as if you were his girlfriend saying things like âI want to make this workâ or âI canât keep going through these ups and downsâ or âI want to better our relationshipâ. If they are in a relationship they will often hold more interest in their target rather than their significant other.
Another sign you may be a target is that they may attempt to adapt to your feelings for instance if youâre sad about a friend that had left, he might attempt to pretend he cared about that person.
He may also disclose private information to certain figures such as a principal or parents.
He tends to spread misinformation.
How to identify Austin:
Big ass forehead
Liberal
Like joe Biden
Weird vibe
Has the same sweater as you (optional)
Will harass other to get election votes or to sell something (even if they say no)
How to attempt to escape being a target:
Run away from him at every instance and when confronted simply say âitâs win win bro... itâs win winâ
Call him a Bernie fan (it pisses him off)
Make an impeachment campaign against his presidency (If he still has one)
Attempt to block him on every devise if possible (heâll always find a way)
lock yourself in a portable toilet until he goes away (Iâve tried it)
Any person: ......
Austin Jansen: I HAVE SAME SWEATER
Stephen Skratt is a godly man that is above most mortals like you and I, It is a blessing to carry his genes and his last name. Woman have killed to get to Skratt, some say his last name makes people immortal. Further research is needed but all we know is that may have a wife named Wendy Skratt and a son Thomas Skratt, these people share his godly last name which not that many people have so they are likely related. Stephen Skratt is still much better than his mortal family as he has made multiple soundtracks for the Lego Marvel movies and is a key component in the soundtracks of hotel Transylvania and Inspector Gadget.
Any Woman on the Planet: who is that hunk of a human being?
Man: oh that's the man every man wants to be Stephen Skratt
Boy: I;m not going to bed just because the fire's pulling a Felipe Ortiz
Girl: I'm making a new fire and pulling a Stephen Skratt
Boy 1: You can't say the N-word that's racist!
Boy 2: It's okay, Stephen Skratt gave me the pass