Long Benis Iced Tea

One of the most popular femboy COCKtails. You add a 1/2 ounce of piss, which is the tequila, a 1/2 ounce of cum, which is the vodka, a 1/2 ounce of period blood, which is the triple sec, a 1/2 ounce of pus, which is the gin, and a 1/2 ounce of vaginal fluid, which is the rum, 1 ounce of diarrhea, which is the Cocka Cola, and to top the concoction off, add 1 ounce of green shit, which is the juice. A popular cocktail with femboys, transvestites, and privileged college-aged white girls who think they are oppressed when they are not. Commonly served at Applebee’s under the name Long Island Iced Tea, despite that being a different drink.

Guy: yo man u want to get shitfaced tonight?
Femboy: yeah sure I got a good cocktail recipe that is sure to fuck u up!
Guy: ok lets see it!
Femboy: *breaks out the goods* alright I made Long Island Iced Tea!
Guy: alright imma try this *sips* it looks like long island iced tea, but it doesn’t taste that good. In fact, it’s pretty shitty.
Femboy: Wait did I say Long Island Iced Tea, no, I meant Long Benis Iced Tea.
Guy: DUUUEAUAHHHHHHHHH THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING THERE’S A LIQUIDY CORN FILLED SHIT IN HERE

Cleveland Curl Up

When one is laying flat on their back with knees bend upwards while moving their head up to reach the asshole of the person standing right in front of them with ass towards them, thrusting his/her tongue DEEP INSIDE the anus each time he/she moves his/her head to the top. Under Cleveland municipal law, any sex act that is performed within Cleveland city limits must involve shitting, so the person who is receiving a rimjob via a Cleveland Curl Up is legally obligated to shit onto the tongue of the giver of the Cleveland Curl Up; essentially the “cherry on top.”

I decided to try something new with my Girlfriend so I asked if we could take turns doing Cleveland Curl Up…

…and she left me :(

Boston Bench Press

When a fuck naked guy lays flat and lifts his fuck naked girl (or guy if he’s a bit homosexual) up and down on his erect dick, penetrating the girl/guy’s vagina or anus, simulating a bench press. It originated in Boston back in the American Revolution when horny colonists would kidnap British Redcoats and give them a Boston Bench Press in retaliation for raising taxes on the colonies and shutting down the port of Boston, thus coining the term. It is still widely practiced today as a training exercise for the New England Patriots as an ode to the team’s origins in Boston. It’s also just a good exercise if you can’t afford a gym membership or benching equipment.

Guy 1: Ayo you look totally ripped today did you start working out?
Guy 2: Absolutely.
Guy 1: That’s awesome bro, I work out too! What gym do you go to?
Guy 2: Oh I don’t go to the Gym, I just give my girlfriend a Boston Bench Press.

Toronto Trunk Lift

When a giver of head lies flat on his/her stomach with his/her arms beside his/her stomach with legs flat on the ground while he/she lifts his/her head and upper chest up and down from the ground while a dick is in his/her mouth, thus sucking a dick while doing a trunk lift. Originated in Toronto when horny players for the Toronto Raptors really needed to shoot one off during training.

My girlfriend must be a Canadian, because she just gave me a Toronto Trunk Lift last night!

Benis Coffee

When you put your dick inside your boy/girl’s asshole, start fucking it, and then he or she starts shitting diarrhea onto your dick, in which you then put the drippings into a cup, resembling coffee. To make it a Benis Latte, you must bust a nut into it.

Guy: mmm that’s some good coffee
Girl: uhhh i don’t think you should be drinking that
Guy: why not? It’s good and hot
Girl: it was that benis coffee i accidentally gave you last night
Guy: EEEWWWWWWAEAAHHHHHUHHUH

3👍 1👎

Anus gravy

When you eat Taco Bell, the intestinal tract heats up, causing the rancid Taco Bell feces to melt into a highly combustible fluid, which is now completely liquified, which is then charged with the anal gases which have been heated into plasma, causing a turbocharged fart to shoot out liquid diarrhea into your pants, in which the Taco Bell diarrhea’s runny state causes the shit to run down your pants, with an intense and potent smell. A term coined and used by the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Guy 1: I suddenly don’t feel good.
Guy 2: I told you not to have that shredded chicken burrito from Taco Bell.
Guy 1: *shits his pants loudly*
Guy 2: OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ANUS GRAVY LEAKING OUT OF YOUR PANTS I FEEL LIKE I AM ABOUT TO PUKE BECAUSE IT SMELLS SO BAD!
Guy 1’s Girlfriend: You just got your anus gravy all over my new white pants! I am breaking up with you!
Guy 1, being unable to withstand the devastating effects of anus gravy, decided to hang himself in the school bathroom the next day.