Teala Dunn

Teala Dunn is a floptok ICON. She fought in the badussy way when she was only 11. Also knows as the smiling girl, she is a floptropican celebrity, actress, and singer. PURR!

"Did you hear about how hard Teala Dunn fought in the badussy war?"
"Ikr slay sista, she tots shoulda run for floptropican president, she deserved it."
"Yeh, but she too busy. Purr tho, she a strong independant woman"
"Slawuyr."
"Yeh, she does. unlike you crusty."
"..."
"Do you shave your poosai?"

Baron Von Steuben

He was like, this super badass immigrant gay himbo in the American Revolution and a bunch of crappy places are named after him. Okay so Germany kicked him out for being gay, Ben Franklin sent him and his boyfriend here, He did a bunch of awesome stuff, gave us some Prussian drilling, made us have half a chance against the British, wrote the first ever drill manual for the U.S., yelled at us in German and French, oh and he had a spoiled ass doggo he loved named Azor. Picked up two more twinks, got this lil ol house, died there, the end. He was friends with, like, all the important people your teacher actually tells you about. He was only being paid half. So yeah, he slayed.

random soldier: OH MY GOD WHO TF WAS THAT BARON VON STEUBEN GUY I HATE HIS BOOK, WHY DO WE HAVE TO CARRY IT AROUND!?
Me: Bro I wish I had one, BUT THEY'RE 80 FUCKING DOLLARS!?

200 years ago:
Baron Von Steuben: hey y'all I'm your new sugar daddy drillmaster
Du Ponceau: I'm his emotional support French twink
Walker: I'm just here for the money.
North: Hi, I'm one of the boyfriends, and I have a minor drinking problem
Azor: ruff ruff
AAAAAAND THAT'S THE BARON'S HAREM OF GAY FRENCHIES IN A NUTSHELL!
Washington: I don't get paid enough for this.
LaFayette: I don't get paid anything for this!