Wazzle Wand

A stick or branch segment that looks incredibly similar to an erect penis that both men and woman have found themselves penetrating their bodies and giving themselves splinters in their genitalia - to summarise, it is like a wooden dildo just less smooth and specialised.

Dan: "damn my ass is so sore!'

Adam: "whys that then."
Dan: "I've got splinters in it."
Adam: "why the hell are there splinters in your ass."
Dan: "well I found a wazzle wand whilst on a walk and I just had to give it to myself."
Adam: "oh I see."
Dan: "yeah I know! My anus is killing me."
Adam: "so hypothetically do you still have this wazzle wand."

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Add-on

A form of vermin native to civilisation that survives by crowding around groups of people and taking up space.

Will: Who are these people?
Maria: Add-ons
Will: Oh