Random
Source Code

Blaal

a sound uttered from the mouth of one who is in the process of dying a horrible death.

as the baseball blasted through Stan's chest, all we heard was "Blaal"

by Ixtiklioblikliak April 8, 2008

22👍 7👎


Ged

Ged was an amazingly powerful Archmage created by "Lotus-Position Tom" back in the D&D Days. Ged supposedly operated a flying castle powered with the energy of a harnessed black hole. Although he seemed invincible to everything, his only weakness was something like "he can only be killed by a needle coated with the drool of a ghost during the Full Moon and in the shadow of an ancient oak tree"

Facts:
1. He was the son of Asmodeus
2. He would always fly around in the Lotus Position
3. For a time, he served Nemesis Tor'turre, always following him 6 feet behind and 3 feet off the ground
4. Wielded a staff that could launch a Fire Fan from one end, and a Heat Beam from the other, for 6d6 damage each
5. Had 312 HP at last count
6. Seemed to always be casting a 9HD Fireball at someone or something
7. Claimed to be the "Master of Dragons" (Tiamat scoffed at this claim)
8. Was turned into a figurine by Demogorgon for betraying Nemesis Tor'turre and Zontar
9. Was summoned via said figurine and subsequently slain by Nemesis Tor'turre, Zontar, Justin DaDoom, Jarga Sin, Telyx, and possibly one or two other foes
10. Was considered to be an untrustworthy asshole by most of his fellow party members

Ged was babbling on as usual "I am casting a 9 Hit Die Fireball from my staff, which is lying across my lap, as I levitate in the Lotus Position exactly 6 feet behind and 3 feet off the ground in relation to my master, which is where all good mages should be" or some shit like that.

by Ixtiklioblikliak April 7, 2008

25👍 42👎


Justin DaDoom

Justin DaDoom was a Drow Elf Assassin circa 1986. After joining as a mere initiate, he eventually rose up through the ranks of the Assassin's Guild, ultimately becoming the Grandfather of Assassins after defeating the Grandmother of Assassins in hand to hand combat.

Justin DaDoom is best known for the Curse he laid upon one of his foes: "Every Time You Run, You Fall Down". Needless to say, that foe spent the remainder of his life either moving slowly or tumbling about.

Another well-known fact about Justin is that he HATED Stinky Vaginas, as his father before him also hated them. There was little known to repulse the DaDoom males more than Stinky Vag.

Justin DaDoom also enjoyed belching profusely, which he barely managed to keep under control while in Stealth Mode.

Some of Justin DaDoom's traveling companions included Telyx, Nemesis Tor'turre, Zontar, Jarga Sin, and Celedon Kierney.

Justin amassed great wealth during his lifetime, including all of the following artifacts:
Vorpal Sword +5
Bastard Sword +6
Sling of Seeking +5
Elven Chainmail +6
Gauntlets of Ogre Power/Swimming/Dexterity/Climbing
Ring of Chameleon Power
Ring of Free Action
Ring of Spell Turning
Browning Automatic Rifle

When last seen, he was being tutored by Nemesis Tor'turre in the ways of magic, and had attained 10th level as a Mage in addition to his 20th level as an Assassin.

As the party entered the chamber of the Ice Queen, Justin began to sniff the air with disdain.

"Orcs?" Telyx asked.

"No" replied Justin DaDoom, releasing a thunderous and long-lasting belch... "Stinky Vag. I HATE STINKY VAG!!!"

And then The Ice Queen materialized before them, enraged beyond all words. The battle began immediately.

by Ixtiklioblikliak April 9, 2008

17👍 7👎