Sarah Paulson Syndrome

Also know as SPS. It is an obsession followed by an unavoidable attraction to older women (mommy issues). People who suffer from it are usually lesbians with great taste in women, but they have no mental health.

Hetero: "Do you want to see this movie with me?"
Paulsonist: "Does Sarah Paulson with an addiction to cigarettes appear?"
Hetero: "WTF, no"
Paulsonist: "Then no! You fucking creep. I have Sarah Paulson Syndrome, I can't watch that"

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Heterosexuality

It is a recognised illness in many countries. Highly contageous. People suffering from heterosexuality try to push their beliefs into normal people.

Person 1: "Marcus is not coming to school today, he has heterosexuality"
Person 2: "OMG I wish he gets normal soon, otherwise we will have to sacrifise that dirty breeder to satan"
Person 3:"Yeah let's do that now. He doesn't deserve basic human rights. Fucking hetero!"

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