Unit

A word used to describe parents, normally when they are in the room, can hear your conversations or happen to always be right in the damn room next to you while you talk on the motherfucking phone. Short for "parental unit"

Guy 1 (On the other end of the phone): Hey dude did you hear about Hayley Williams posting a topless pic on her twitter?

Guy 2: Dude I can't talk about that right now, I have unit problems.

Guy 1: Oh, sorry.

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Text Novel

When someone sends you such a long text (normally consisting of 7+ pages) that it could almost be considered a novel.

Jim: Dude holy shit, Jenny just sent me like ten full texts in a row.

Tom: Damn. She must have skills equal to JRR Tolkien, eh?

Jim: I know. She always sends me text novels.

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