Japanese Teardrop

n. An unexpected single drop of ejaculation that turns up ten minutes after the bolt has been shot, regardless of how thoroughly one mops the bell-end. The missing fish.

(Ten minutes after a rigorous masturbation session)
Roger: “What the… Oh no!”
Clive: “What’s up?”
Roger: “Japanese Teardrop…”
Clive: “Too much detail mate… Not cool!”

34👍 10👎

Double Dragback

1. n. An impressive football trick as perfected by the likes of David Ginola.

2. n. A painful wanking accident whereby an inexperienced masturbatrix loses rhythm, resulting in one downward stroke being immediately followed by another, thus causing severe one string banjo trauma.

Gary: "Did you hear about Alan?"
Pete: "No. Why, what's wrong?"
Gary: "I was told that by Ian that he is in hospital."
Pete: "Oh dear. Is everything okay?"
Gary: "Unfortunately not, no. A severe case of Double Dragback Ian said."
Pete: "Ouch!"
Gary: "I know. He should have been more careful!"
Pete: "..."
Gary: "..."
Pete: "Any football on?"

19👍 5👎

Brown Zombie

n. A shit that refuses to go away and keeps on coming back.

Stan: "What's that smell?"
(In the room walks Mike)
Mike: "Sorry mate, was a persistent bugger! Was like a scene from 'Night of the Living Dead'."
Stan: "A case of a Brown Zombie? No worries. I gave birth to a beast earlier this morning. That reminds me, it's been 28 days since we cleaned that thing. Could do with a bleaching, and soon!"

13👍 3👎