Escargot

the snail body that comes out of a snail shell. Looks like snot (a nose booger)

"Anyone care for escargot?"

"er, no thanks. I'll just pick my own..."

9👍 29👎

sweetness and light

a compliment, usually given to a woman whom you are very familiar with but occasionally she grates on you (as in pussy whipped )

Of course I'd like to take you to the prom, Oh Sweetness and Light !

5👍 2👎

sleepy sex

what you give your woman using your morning glory

I woke at 4 am with a massive piss hard-on and slipped it into Nanci;she doesn't mind sleepy sex provided that you don't wake her up too much.

40👍 26👎

jack and jill

(1)a party for those about to be wed; sometimes called a stag & doe (its like a shower, except that only women are invited to a shower)
(2)a gathering of males and females, who masturbate in front of each other for mutual stimulation and enjoyment. (looking is encouraged but touching is not)
(3)when a man and a woman get together to masturbate in front of each other for mutual stimulation and enjoyment.Look but don't touch.See friends with benefits.With reference to the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill.

(1)Last weekend my wife and I went to a Jack and Jill party for Greg and Julie who are getting married in 6 weeks.

(2)Last weekend my wife and I went to a Jack and Jill party; she got off with some guy who jacked off his 9 or 10 inch dick in front of her, and now she's in another world most of the time.

(3)Nancii and I pulled a Jack and Jill last weekend; we've never had sex, never masturbated each other, but we're comfortable just getting ourselves off in each others' company.She's a hottie and I find she certainly beats fantasizing.

280👍 151👎

cornhole tremor

A loud fart that gives off strong vibrations.

25👍 5👎

fluffy puff marshmallows

Homestar Runner's favorite food. He advertises them, but does not do a very good job of it. The mascot of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows is a marshmallow named Marshie.

"You best be eating a whole mess of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows!"

27👍 11👎

cucumber

a vegetable, one of several that make for an excellent "penis". Available in various lengths and circumferences. Some have enticing "bumpies" on them for extra stimulation. Best washed and dried before use (who knows where they've been !) Similar to zuchini, carrots, leeks.

When she has to come home alone on Saturday night, she cozies up to her vegetable bin and chooses her mate from among the cucumbers, zuchini, carrots and leeks.

351👍 140👎