velcro farmer

A chick who doesn't practice grooming in the pubic region.

My wife wanted to get frisky last night but she's a Velcro farmer down there.

Fauxmility

In a desire to illicit admiration, artificial humility projected by someone who secretly craves to be a baller, but has accepted their fate to always be tightwad.

My sister’s fauxmility is annoying—she posts pics of her kids in ratchet clothes to act like they struggle, but owns like 10 rent houses!