Valethole

(va-ley-hohl) n. Those car parking services which seek to provide a customer convenience by blocking (but not using) the close parking spots, stealing your loose change and denting your car…all while you wait.

Mike: Why can't we find a spot to park?
Rick: Those valetholes blocked half the lot. Last time I came here they stole all my change for parking.

faux pee

When your dog no longer has the need to urinate, but continues to go through the motions everywhere he smells another dog.

Wife: What took you so long?
Husband: The dog kept stopping to faux pee every ten feet.

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Traffic Tourette's

The uncontrollable urge to scream obscenities at other drivers who infringe on your space (whether real or imagined).

Jay: Man that guy just cut you off.
Mark: That @#$% can't drive worth @#$%.
Jay: I see your traffic tourette's is getting worse.

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