tillie

Slang for an ATM. From "Tillie The All-Time Teller" at First National Bank of Atlanta (now Wachovia).

I got no cash! I need to go rape Tillie before we hit the bars.

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vacu-jack

Device used to create an erection (before Viagra), increase penile size, or simply get off. Consists of an airtight cylinder and a hand pump.

Girlfriend dumped me, so it's back to the vacu-jack.

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ream fee

Any gratuitous, excessive, or unreasonable extra charge or surcharge placed on a transaction, possibly as a service charge, penalty, or profit center.

I just hate it when TicketBastard charges me a ream fee whenever I buy tickets--and then have the gall to call it a "convenience charge"

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