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Mucus plug

A small mass of cervical mucus formed during pregnancy of a biological female. It is found at the cervical opening (if you finger-bang a chick deep enough, that "knobby" feeling thing in there) to prevent external and vaginal pathogens entering the womb during gestation (via the cervix of course, the baby head can still get Zika-ed.) It also keeps your jizz from getting all over the fœtus when you plow a pregnant chick, so no pedo.
Near the end of term, the plug will dislodge and exit: typically shortly before or after her water breaks (if it's not induced or whatevs.) This is called the "show" or "bloody show," and basically looks like her snatch sneezed (a cunt-achoo if you will.) Some vaginal trauma, REALLY rough pounding, or prolonged coitus involving a Mandingo can dislodge the pussy-booger earlier than nature intends, but another will form to replace it eventually; extra care must be taken to not introduce additional opportunistic bacteria or pathogens until this happens (so no ATV Intercourse if possible, or fucking any filthy, swamp dick-ed truckers.)

Remember men and/or lesbians! It's absolutely fine to rail a preggo, they get sloppy-wetter than usual, you can drop as many loads as you want, and her vajayjay gets real crowded during those last few months; feels great! Just when that mucus plug comes out, be ready to beat off for several weeks after...

by Jackalodeath August 28, 2016

11👍 7👎


Wangmouthified

(wang-mouth-e-fied)
When an individual becomes or is unable to speak due to their mouth being actively employed by a penis, paenus, or paenis. Also, when a male refuses social interaction towards his partner from outside sources to ensure he reaches orgasm. Female equivalent is Cunttonguiasis.

*phone ringing on bedside table*

Dude answers: "Hello?"
Older woman: "Hey Kevin, can I speak to Bridgette please?"
Kevin: "Oh! Good morning Ms. Jackson...uh, can she call you back?"
Ms. Jackson: "Sure dear, just tell her that Momma REALLY needs to talk to her okay?"
Kevin: "Sure thing Ms. Jackson. Bye!"
*3 minutes later*
Kevin: "Oh, OH, OOOHHHHH!!!! And boom goes the dynamite!"
Bridgette: "It's about time you bastard! So what did my Mom want?"
*she wipes face with sheets*
Kevin: "Fuck, I don't know! She just said call her back, it's important."
Bridgette: "What the hell Kevin?! My Grandmother's in the hospital!! She might've woken up!"
Kevin: "Well EXCUSE me!! You were a lil wangmouthified at the time..."

by Jackalodeath March 28, 2014