onlineness

The fact of maintaining a constant online presence, in order to be able to instantly react to any new internet developments, no matter how insignificant. Onlineness may lead to acute loneliness and pathological syndromes such as extralineaphobia.

Onliners often have a very limited and/or virtual social life, despite new technological developments such as smartphones enabling them to be on the internet at all times. Side effects to social onlineness include annoying behaviours such as googling-every-word-in-a-real-life-conversation to more dangerous ones like uploading-pictures-of-that-car–wreck-while-driving.

- Matt's become such an extreme onliner, it's impossible to have a chat with him without at some point having to react to one of his virtual friends' tweet. I think I'll stop seeing him altogether.

- Yeah, or you could offer him to have drinks on a video call. That'd make him feel silly enough he'd stop.

- You dream, I bet he'd be up for it.

- Onlineness is a bitch.