Nocturnal pseudo-prehistoric micro-animals which inhabit the icy bleak tundra of Siberia and several suburbs of Milan.
Used in sandwiches eaten by the Inuit.
Also the surname of the ever-smiling Peruvian soul singer of the seventies, Juan Carlos Sunglasses.
"You know Pekka, these sunglasses taste really great, we must eat them more often, really we must."
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Anything really that is lying around that can be placed on the penis in such a fashion as to stir neighbours, family, friends etc, who see you donning such attire, into thinking:
'wow, what fancy elaborate condom our Jimmy wear, he must be a really successful businessman with house full of expensive and shiny items."
Small kittens, sister's pet rabbit, dead birds, anything really!
(Trust me, chicks love it...)
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Stinky bastard who gets his/her kicks from cracking off hot sulphur clouds all day in elevators.
"See ya later, alligator!"
"Nooo, see YOU later elevator vacator!"
"Gimme five!"
SLAP
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Non-ficticious underworld crimeboss who is widely regarded as being the stencil for the majority of "movie baddies".
Born with a hole in his face and a spur on his elbow, Fartfinger rose steadily through the ranks of "local hardmen" whilst still at kindergarten in Vienna. It was here that he had his first brush with the law following an incident with a nun, a Bolivian monkey and an umbrella.
At age 9, in the beautiful city of Belfast, he was finally arrested - on charges of stealing Antwerp - but got away scot-free as a result of eating many people involved in the case, including the judge, the prosecutor, twenty-seven kittens, the jury and his own mother.
Following an awful incident where he saw the film 'Bad Eggs' Fartfinger decided to travel to Australia to kill several awful actors and writers. Sadly it was during a train journey across australia to sydney in his search for these silver-screen villains that he fell ill with 'poisoned face' and he is now buried, albeit still alive, somewhere in the Nullabor along with what is rumoured to be EVERYTHING to do with the film 'Bad Eggs'.
What an awful film the 'Bad Eggs' are.
Man: What time is it please?
Dog: Fartfinger
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