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When you power up with a 2-hour Tom Brady-style workout and get yourself good and sweaty AND THEN stick your middle finger right the fuck into your swampy ass crack, popping the tip into the anus. The finger is then withdrawn and inhaled with all the pride of the Patriots 6 SuperBowl championships.
I stopped working out with Frank after I saw him crank off a TB twister in the locker room.
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Chuddlepasting is the disturbing act of spackling your partner's (or pet's) fresh, hot fat shit into your own buttcrack with a garden trowel.
Yeah, I used to think Keirsten was pretty hot, but then I found out she's into chuddlepasting.
Jackyl-ripping is when you've been stompin' all over the place and have a seriously swampified butthole that needs attention, so you grab a piece of paper towel and cram it way up your ass to clean out the accumulated stank. Then, when maximum absorption has been reach, you carefully rip the stank-rag out of your crack and hide it shamefully in the trash.
It's been so hard to find toilet paper due to the Coronavirus panic that I've been jackyl-ripping.
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Pussy footin' is when you are balls deep cowgirl in what you think is a delicious drink of tang and she's sloppy wet from all the solid fuckin you been doing. Then, much to your surprise she climbs off your bangstick and slathers her dripping snatch all over your feet and proceeds to lick them clean.
I KNEW Keirstin was fucking dicksgusting when I was drunk-bangin her last night and she started pussyfootin' me. It was so vulgar that I barfed my steak and cheese all over her fugly-ass titties.
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The queef oven, although similar in some ways to the world renowned Gordon Ramsay-approved dutch oven, actually is much more...how do you say en francais? Gaysty! And really untasty! In fact, consider this your fair warning NOT to eat anything cooked in the queef oven, or the oven itself.
Fat bitch Proudtrucky Keirsten, from Pensultucky, FL, sure does like to put her daughter's poop into her queef oven. She calls that mesquite.
Pitchin' in the mirror is when you are so depressed and lonely that the best part of your life is the wonderously pleasurable feeling that you sometimes get when pitchinรขยย a loaf, so much so that you put a mirror in front of the toilet so that you can witness the look of pleasure on your face and savor these glorious moments of fecal delivery while pretending that your reflection is another person, a compassionate friend.
Bro, ever since I found out how hard it is to become a rock star and my girlfriend got abducted by The Grays, I've been pitchin' in the mirror.
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