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Chuddlepasting is the disturbing act of spackling your partner's (or pet's) fresh, hot fat shit into your own buttcrack with a garden trowel.
Yeah, I used to think Keirsten was pretty hot, but then I found out she's into chuddlepasting.
Jackyl-ripping is when you've been stompin' all over the place and have a seriously swampified butthole that needs attention, so you grab a piece of paper towel and cram it way up your ass to clean out the accumulated stank. Then, when maximum absorption has been reach, you carefully rip the stank-rag out of your crack and hide it shamefully in the trash.
It's been so hard to find toilet paper due to the Coronavirus panic that I've been jackyl-ripping.
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Pussy footin' is when you are balls deep cowgirl in what you think is a delicious drink of tang and she's sloppy wet from all the solid fuckin you been doing. Then, much to your surprise she climbs off your bangstick and slathers her dripping snatch all over your feet and proceeds to lick them clean.
I KNEW Keirstin was fucking dicksgusting when I was drunk-bangin her last night and she started pussyfootin' me. It was so vulgar that I barfed my steak and cheese all over her fugly-ass titties.
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A CHILLER is natural kink at it's finest. On a cold winter morning, wake up before the sun rises and hop in your car. Then, with the heat off, drive to your favorite natural scenic location (preferably a mountain overlook or a frozen waterfall), again, with the heat off. When you arrive at your location, park the car in a secluded spot. Then crank the fuck down with your freezing cold hands in your freezing cold car. Let your steamy fury frost the windows so as to protect your privacy from any onlookers. Let yourself erupt in a volcano of lust inside winter's cold chamber of frozen glory for a true fusion of sensory kink.
Fuck! I'm all out of oxycodone... How am I going to make it through work today?? Well, I'm up early - I think I'll head off to Mt. Sandalphon and relax with a chiller. That'll set me right.
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The queef oven, although similar in some ways to the world renowned Gordon Ramsay-approved dutch oven, actually is much more...how do you say en francais? Gaysty! And really untasty! In fact, consider this your fair warning NOT to eat anything cooked in the queef oven, or the oven itself.
Fat bitch Proudtrucky Keirsten, from Pensultucky, FL, sure does like to put her daughter's poop into her queef oven. She calls that mesquite.
Pitchin' in the mirror is when you are so depressed and lonely that the best part of your life is the wonderously pleasurable feeling that you sometimes get when pitchinรขยย a loaf, so much so that you put a mirror in front of the toilet so that you can witness the look of pleasure on your face and savor these glorious moments of fecal delivery while pretending that your reflection is another person, a compassionate friend.
Bro, ever since I found out how hard it is to become a rock star and my girlfriend got abducted by The Grays, I've been pitchin' in the mirror.
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