George Washington

Our first and greatest president, Washington is known for a variety of achievements including (but not limited to) inventing cocaine, spreading the Delaware like Moses, saving children (not the British children), throwing knives into heaven, and killing his own sensei but never saying why.

"Damn. George Washington is so cool. Who would've thought he was such a bad ass."

"Did you know that George Washington once held an opponents wife's hand in a jar of acid...at a party?"

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