Wolverine

The most badass, ferocious, terrifying, 30 pounds on god's green earth. These little mf's can see through a hundered feet of trees, bushes, rocks, dirt, and ice, can smell a single drop of blood from halfway across canada and have teeth and claws sharper than a diamond-toothed saw. In a single bite one could snap dwayne johnson in half like a toothpick. Super ultra-camo makes them completely invisible to even the most advanced detection equipment. If you encounter one in the wilderness there is no hope. They run faster, climb better, are smarter, swim faster than anything humans will ever create! Just sit down and accept your fate. There really is no plutonium in nuclear bombs, they are actually just a containment device for wolverines that were given to us by the gods and have been weaponized by governments around the world. In their spare time wolverines enjoy ripping the throats out of grizzly bears and a single wolverine has been observed chasing 50 polar bears away from a group of seals that the bears had killed. The mountains are their's; the higher in elevation they are the more powerful they become! There is no weapon powerful enough to combat their healing powers! The babies are super cute but don't be fooled, they are just as deadly as the adults! Stalin didn't kill 20 million of his people, he just sent them to siberia, the wolverines did the rest! The viking colony in canada didn't fail because of the natives! It was because they encountered wolverines!

'' ...and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from the wolverines...'' (The Lord's Prayer)

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