canada's history

An ungodly act requiring a living bull moose, three ski-doos, 16 meters of sinew, a couple of beaver placentas, 4 tonnes of maple syrup, 17 willing people (gender non-specific) and 1200 tim horton's doughnuts (must have holes). This act is a communal sexual celebration of Canadian culture that takes place during parliamentary prorogation so that the overlord may spawn a new generation of conservative minions. This highly secret ceremony is presided over by the great Canadian overlord Stephano P. Harperissimo (known to non-Canadians as Stephen Harper). Only one non-Canadian has ever been known to participate in this ceremony, the notorious American human-catfish named Stephen Colbert, and this was only because the great overlord Harperissimo's nonbrained minions mistook Stephen for their overlord the great Stephano. It is said that Stephen spawned a new generation of super-conservative human-fish-Canadian hybrid foot soldiers who now roam the earth spreading maple syrup, dweebiness, and conflicted views on healthcare throughout the globe.

This year there is no parliament until after the Olympics because Harper is conducting a session of "Canada's History".

2👍 7👎