Trail Mix

The delicious embodiment of perfection.

Those assorted nuts, dried fruit, and M&Ms are Trail Mix

Schweppes

A disease of the scrotum that takes various forms and sizes depending on the afflicted (rash, warts, foreign-accents, crawling/biting/stinging sensations, testicle enlargement, obesity, resting bitch face, diarrhea, etc.).

There are 4 stages of this disease. Stage 3 is terminal, but if Stage 4 is reached, you will live and receive a Krispy Kreme travel mug. It is unknown how this is contracted, but Amish believe it comes from sitting on unclean toilet seats.

Jesse: "Hey, Todd! You wanna go on a run?"
Todd: "Can't. I have Schweppes. I'm afraid if I go running my scrotum will burst open."
Jesse: "Bummer."