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Random
When a girl is Giving you a blow job, sneezes and bites your dick off. Easily prevented by dusting every once in a while and washing your sheets.
Doctor: Can you tell me why your penis is missing.
Guy: My girl was giving me a Bj and sneezed.
Doctor: Ah, the ol' Allergic chomp.
34π 3π
What a hillbilly eats when he runs out of opossums or squirrels and his sisters pussy is un-available.
Jed:"I be hungry and betsy lou is out square dancin with festus."
Granny: "I'll fix you some Hamburger Helper"
71π 34π
The reason that will be given when god is asked why he wiped out the human race.
A TV show with a cast full of losers with room temperature IQ's who like to run around Fist Pumping, which they do so they have lots of practice when they go home to fuck their mothers.
The male cast members are on steroids because they are too lazy to build muscle the old fashioned way and the females have Breast enhancements to make up for the fact they have nothing in their brains and no soul.
Most define themselves as Guidos and Guidettes but act more likely Puerto Ricans with an inferiority complex.
They like to give themselves Nicknames like J-wow, Snookie and the Situation but should choose something more appropriate such as Cum dumpster, Oompa loompa and Closet Case.
This Show is going to be used as Evidence when MTV is put on trial for destroying American culture.
I would rather be Gang Raped by Mike Tyson, Shuge Night and the 1985 Chicago Bears while having hot Lava poured into every available orifice them being eaten alive by tigers than watch Jersey Shore
2494π 573π
Characters of an terrible animated 80's show that were systematically exterminated by the Japanese Fishing industry.
Guy one: I wonder when they are going to come out with some new Snorks Episodes.
Guy 2: I have some really bad News, the Snorks were all eaten by the Japanese.
Guy 1: Are the smurfs ok?
Guy 2: Nope, cats.
36π 11π
The days a chef gets off during his work week, rarely falls on a Saturday or Sunday as they are usually the busiest days in a restaurants week. Often a Monday or Tuesday. Usually prevents a cook from engaging in normal weekend activities with civilian friends like parties and concerts.
Guy 1;Are you coming to the party Saturday?
Guy 2: Nope, cooks weekend, I am off Tuesday and Wednesday.
30π 5π
A definition that is rejected by Urban Dictionary editors because it does not fit the criteria necessary to be entered in the dictionary. Usually submitted by;
1.A retarded teenage girl who defines herself as shy, sexy, sweet and the coolest chick you will ever meet.
2.A retarded teenage boy who defines himself as a total chick magnet with a massive cock and is great at everything.
3. A spiteful teenage boy/girl who wants to talk shit about an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
4. A friendless cock-gobbler who wants his WOW guild or call of duty team defined as total bad asses who are conquering the gaming world.
The sorry sacks of shit keep submitting entries never understanding why they are not being published. The editors see the same types of entry 20 times for the 1 acceptable entry they publish. If your potential entry fits into any of the above categories fuck off and quit wasting our time.
Typical Urban Dictionary Rejects
Kayla: a sweet, sexy, shy girl who is often misunderstood and is wanted by everyone she meets ;)
Tony: A totally awesome guy who kicks ass at rock band, smokes hella weed and is a total babe magnet. :0
Samantha: A smelly whore with a Vagina as wide as the entire Asian Sub-continent who blows everyone she meets and secretes hepatitis juice though her sweat glands.
59π 10π
A blunt or joint laced with cocaine.
That chewie put me on my ass all night, Fuck.
41π 14π