shitter squatter

A person who spends a good majority of the day on the shitter, usually the nice roomy one on the end, doing usefull things like checking email, looking at pictures of cats, primping his pubes, and just generally wasting time so as not to be forced into doing any actually work.

Any time I have the urge to purge I check our resident shitter squatter's office to make sure he is present and accounted for.

Jim: "Where's Warren?"
Steve: "Check the bathroom, I haven't seen that shitter squatter in 45 minutes."

blanket banana brown bingo

The gentlemanly game of attempting to take your morning dump with a raging blanket banana without pissing allover yourself or anyone else nearby.

Brian: "Why are you all wet"
Steve: "I just finished playing Blanket Banana Brown Bingo. I lost."

blanket banana

Morning wood.

If it weren’t for my raging blanket banana I would have rolled right out of bed this morning.