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A place where nothing has ever happened, ever. The center of town is a sketchy laundromat, a run down market and that box company that everyone knows is simply a front for the CIA. One time, an extra from Seinfeld drove through Plainville. It was awesome.
"Plainville- the most accurate description of a town ever."
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The Boston-Providence Theory states that there is nothing in Rhode Island that is better than anything in Massachusetts. Rhode Island was created in 1765 when Jonathan Williams, a prominent cartographer, sneezed while drawing Massachusetts. The most persuading data to back up the Boston-Providence Theory is as follows:
1. Boston > Providence. Boston has better people, bars, beer, accents, businesses, neighborhoods, rivers and schools.
2. Harvard > Brown. Brown is the illegitimate step-child of the Ivy League. Harvard is the best college in the country.
3. Cape Cod > Newport. Newport is tiny and as aside from a very nice section near the water, is an appalling ghetto. Cape Cod's gorgeous beaches and dunes are world famous.
4. Whitey Bulger > Buddy Cianci. Buddy Cianci got caught. Whitey's adventures spawned an Academy Award winning film.
5. Roxbury > Pawtucket. Because if we're talking ghettos, Roxbury will fuck you up.
6. Dunkin' Donuts > Dell's. Dell's is a lemonade stand on steroids. Dunkin' Donuts is a purveyor of the finest coffee in New England.
7. Red Sox > Providence Bruins. Have you even heard of the Providence Bruins? Their big brother plays in...Boston. The Red Sox are a New England institution
8. Children's > Hasbro. When your kid's got an earache, you go to Hasbro. He comes home with the flu. When your kid has cancer, you go to Children's. He comes home healthy.
9. Sam Adams > Narragansett Brewery. Sam Adams is an internationally acclaimed, ass-kicking beer. Narragansett beer is simply Narragansett Bay sludge colored to look like beer.
Guy 1: I don't really feel safe living in Providence.
Guy 2: Well according to the Boston-Providence Theory you abandon that hell-hole and move to paradise.
Guy 1: Good call. What part of Boston should I move to?
"After seeing the light, Max found the Red Sox, left Pawtucket and settled in Back Bay."
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Bishop Feehan is an academic ass-kicking Catholic high school in Attleboro, Massachusetts. Feehan is know for both it's exceptional academics and highly successful athletic program. In addition, Bishop Feehan consistently turns out some of the most beautiful students in the country. Feehan students are known for their exceptional intelligence, insatiable sexual appetite, ability to have a good time and appallingly good looks. Feehan entertains a rivalry with Attleboro High School mostly out of pity. Feehan's patron saints are Sister Patricia Harrington and Ed Gagnon.
Guy 1: We didn't learn that at Andover.
Feehan student: *sigh* Gagnon taught us that freshman year.
Guy 1: Oh, did you go to Andover?
Feehan student: I went to Bishop Feehan, bitch.
Guy 1: Shit.
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