Pee Flow Tree

The process of deciding whether or not to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I really have to pee. But I don’t want to get out of bed. I wonder if I can make it through the night without having an accident? Is it really that bad to have an accident? No one will know. I probably need to change the sheets anyway. Maybe I should just go ahead and get up to pee now since I’m awake after going through this pee flow tree.

Gyno-Meteorologist

1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.

Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a Gyno-Meteorologist
Stranger: ...

newt

a word that originates in Springfield Illinois describing the people who reside on the north side of town, went to Lanphier high school, and are uneducated, dimwitted, nascar watching dirtbags. North End White Trash

joe dirt/ dale earnhart/kid rock

123👍 101👎

Advers-ocado

The fear that the avocado you're cutting into might be all nasty and brown inside.

I really want some avocado toast, but my avocados are old and I'm scared to see what's inside them. I guess I have advers-ocado.

Humanbumps

On a goose, the condition of their skin when they are in a cold environment and temporarily get little bumps on their skin. Equivalent to goosebumps on a human.

It’s so cold that all the geese have humanbumps.

nilla wafer

What people eat when they run out of cookies.

Damnit, we’re out of cookies. All we have is an 8-year old box of Nilla Wafers in the back of the pantry.

Keurig Courtesy

The act of patiently performing tasks on the office Keurig machine.

I had to throw away someone else’s K-Cup and fill the reservoir, just to get a cup of coffee. But that’s OK, I don’t mind showing some Keurig Courtesy.