Random
Source Code

filthy tuba

Despite plenty of public ridicule towards the notion of "clown college," it is a fairly sophisticated establishment, full of ancient traditions and practices not known to the common man. An aspiring clown is only allowed to graduate once they complete the sacred ritual known as a filthy tuba. The jovial neophyte will begin by offering up a sacrifice to the old gods, Kid Villain and John Kickjazz of the Insane Clown Posse. Then they will remove the sacrifice's intestine and tie off one end. After blowing the guts up like a balloon, the soon-to-be graduate must tie it into a balloon animal. The sacrifice alone will earn a bachelor's in clownography. In order to acquire a master's degree, the balloon must be tied into a tuba-like shape, and it must be used to perform Beethoven's 3rd Symphony in its entirety.

Johnny: Hey, how are finals going?
Chuckles: I've just got one more: the filthy tuba.
Johnny: Oh, sick. Do you need any help studying?
Chuckles: Sure, let's practice!

by Jiggity-Joe April 27, 2017