golfhead

A disease that effects people who never stop playing golf. Too much golf can turn you gay and this is one of the early developments. Golfhead applies to people who are actually, strangely, interested in the subject of golf and actually play the game. Those who have Instagram accounts dedicated to the unholy game have gone too far and have become full golfhead’s so stop it before it has escalated too much. People who are golfheads tend to wear tiny, pussy shorts and tend to be very self absorbed. They believe that golf is superior and need to be stopped and told that what they’re doing is just for the gays. Think of a golfhead as Louie Spence trying to impersonate Dwayne Johnson. Being a golf head is definitely not cool.

That boy’s shoving that golf club up his arse... must be a golfhead!

owen taylor

Owen Taylor is a highly sophisticated specimen and one of many talents. This genius could play a high intensity game of baseball, curl 1000 kg weights and bake an exquisite cake, that would put Mary Berry to shame, all in 10 seconds. His academic prowess rises him above all others and he never ceases to impress and amaze though he has never led his blinding talents get in the way of his amazing friendliness and modesty. He is the best friend you could wish for but also, with his balls of steel, he is the best lover you could wish for. His rock hard abs are an inspiration to all and will make all of the girls flock. Owen is so incredibly kind that he is too afraid to accept the women’s admiration for him. He could be riding a girl and slapping them silly and STILL not admit their obvious affection towards him. He is the perfect balance between the best porn star and the best scientist. He is the nicest person you will ever meet and is the best friend you could hope for. He is somewhat clueless and quirky but this is only because of his obvious disregard of the advances of loveable girls and that’s what makes him special. No one can deny that he is both the best friend that you have always wanted and the boyfriend that girls have always needed. Girls want him; guys want to be him. A guy who plays sport, looks good, has abs, is intelligent and highly friendly, kind and amusing is definitely the best king of guy. Could you ask for more?

I wish I was that guy... must be an Owen Taylor