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Chupacabra

The chupacabra is a legendary mythical creature rumored to inhabit music festivals of the North Americas, from California to New England. Physical descriptions of the creature vary, but most witnesses have described them to be older semi attractive females often wildly intoxicated at music festivals usually only seen after dusk. This species can be quite dangerous, and cunning, often able to abduct young men from their group, isolate them, and devour them, usually by sucking their blood. It is purportedly a heavy creature, usually a white middle aged woman, although there have been reports of chupacabra behavior within almost all ethnicities. The chupacabra is usually only identified retrospectively, in the evening hours, when a male member of a group is reported missing. His friends realize that the last time he was seen was with an aggressive woman, spilling alcohol all over herself, foaming at the mouth and slurring her speech, who led him away, never to be seen again. These are the tactics used by the chupacabra.

Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1985 at a Grateful Dead concert in Michigan, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and more recently at Coachella as well as Austin City Limits, but many of the reports have been disregarded as uncorroborated or lacking evidence. Biologists and wildlife management officials view the chupacabra as a contemporary legend.

"Dude, what happened to Dave? Oh no! I think he got snatched by a chupacabra!"

"Hey man I'd watch it, that chick is definitely a chupacabra, let's steer clear"

by Johnny Nitelife March 11, 2014

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