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APS

APS:

Angry Pretend Sleeper

An Angry Pretend Sleeper is someone who is attempting to and indeed pretending to sleep whilst a group of people are carrying in a social fashion and at a disruptive volume in the same room as or near to this person. In such a situation, the APS pretends to be asleep so as not to be perceived as a "party pooper", but is all the while exhausted, exasperated, and fuming, feeling increasingly bitter resentment towards those depriving them of rest. Eventually the APS will fall asleep out of pure mental and emotional exhaustion, but not before angrily and involuntarily eavesdropping on any number of pointless, unfunny drunken proclamations.

After noisily fiddling with the door lock for five minutes, the fellas finally burst into the living room back at the house, where they proceeded to have a nightcap and another hour or two of pleasant conversation and storytelling. About ten minutes in, the gentlemen realized that their friend and cohort Corey was sleeping on an air mattress a few feet away. Nevertheless, they continued their jovial gathering, as Corey quickly transitioned into full APS mode, never once breaking character.

by Josuv May 27, 2013