couch fire

An act of combustion that takes place either atop, or inside a couch. The couch burns, along with anyone unfortunate enough to be on the couch at the time, as everyone knows couches are fortresses that trap anyone from attempting to escape their impending doom.

Usually meant as an insult to one's intelligence.

"I hope you die in a couch fire with a bum trying to claw his way into your kidneys so he can use it for booze money."

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