Fucktard

Fucktard is not a shortened word for fucking retard!! A true fucktard is an individual that sees an opportunity or is in a situation that has potential for multiple outcomes. Weighs all options, acknowledges benefits and consequences for each option, then chooses to go with the option that will have the most hilarious, sick and twisted consequence.... Just for shits and giggles. And smile for the camera in central booking every time!!

While on Greyhound bus going cross country, we made an unscheduled stop. I only wanted half a cigarette.

Driver: get back on the bus! This ain't your stop!
Me: it's only a half cig, calm down
Driver: if you light that I'm calling the Sheriff!!
(I finish and return to my seat)
Sheriff: ma'am you need to exit the bus. You've been kicked off
Me: this middle of nowhere Kansas!!
Sheriff: get up now or I'm gonna taze you!
Me:......... Do what you gotta do!! (total Fucktard move!!)
**I was tazzed 3x in the thigh (still no feeling 11yrs later), held for 48 hrs on $1500 bail, and made a back room deal with Mayor being banned from the entire state of Kansas for life.

**Sometime wrote an article in their local paper about the incident. True story