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Ancient Ass-cheese Flower

Yet another type of grotesque hors d'oeuvres typically served during weddings and other functions at a banquet hall. Just what the hell makes these things up is anyone's guess, but in general, it's a fluffy pastry-like hors d'oeuvre that is stuffed with cheese that tastes like it fermented in someone's ass for a few weeks before being served. Typically only eaten by people who were denied a meal for three hours by an absurdly long wedding ceremony and then had to wait for a few hours for pictures to be taken, this is a stomach-ache in the making for all but the most iron-gutted people. Too messy to be used as an Assembly-safe Shuriken, these pieces of crap are best used as skipping stones if the banquet facility features a nearby body of water.

"Spinach Vomit-bombs and Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers...glad to see Bob and Sue sprang for only the highest-quality food for their reception."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

13πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Snake-maker

A young jerkoff. Usually a jerkoff because he's too young to be having sex but is randy as a son-of-a-bitch. When he's not jerking off, he's practicing by making snakes with his Play-Doh. Not to be confused with a sock-stuffer.

Brian is a total snake-maker, you can see it in his eyes when he's rolling the Play-Doh. May be time for his parents to have "the talk" with him.

by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012

1πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Cop Karma

"Intellectual" phenomena that leads people to believe going 15 under the speed limit for 3 miles after passing a cop will either:

A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.

Despite the fact that he was doing 80 in a 55 zone when he passed the cop, the idiot in the Corolla in front of me then decided to utilize cop karma to keep from getting a ticket. He slammed on his brakes and then proceeded to drive 42 for three miles, but it didn't work: he got bagged 18 seconds later.

by JustAnotherGuy January 15, 2014


Transformers 2

The triumph of hope over experience.

People went to see Transformers 2 hoping it would take them back to their "glory days" when they watched the cartoon. Alas, Michael Bay is still a shitty director and the franchise is an insult to anyone who remembers their childhood with any fondness.

by JustAnotherGuy October 4, 2012

12πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


🏍️

The best vehicle man has invented, possibly a gift from the gods.

Biker guy: Hey can I pick u up on my 🏍️?
Cute girl: just marry me now 😍

by JustAnotherGuy April 14, 2023

1πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.

"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."

by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010

156πŸ‘ 142πŸ‘Ž


Dumb-waiter

Not to be confused with the small elevator-like devices found in restaurants, hotels and such, "dumb-waiter" refers to the idiot - and there's always one - serving hors d'oeuvres to the bride and groom at a wedding who allows their tray to be pillaged of anything edible before they even get to the wedding party. Thus, they only have Spinach Vomit-bombs left by the time they get to the bride and groom, who wrap a bunch of these disgusting ass nuggets in a napkin to later pelt the wait staff with when no one's looking.

"Not surprisingly, the maitre d' assigned the dumb-waiter to bring hors d'oeuvres to the wedding party, and the fat shits lumbering up the front steps emptied the tray before the guy even got there."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

6πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž