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A great fake name to give a substitute teacher (sounds like fellatio--get it?).
Substitute teacher: "Who is that boy making a penis out of modeling clay?"
Student: "Oh, that's Phil. Phil Atio. He's going out with Connie Lingus. You should send his ass to the principal."
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A BJ that actually involves humming--who knew?!
Hummers make me feel inadequate--any woman who can hum The Star Spangled Banner while giving a BJ and not burst out laughing is more of a woman than I.
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1) A pathetic little twig that's left on the Christmas tree lot on Christmas Eve.
2) Any pathetic-looking thing that might possibly be redeemed with some love.
1) I have no money, so I'm going to wait until Christmas Eve and get me a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
2) Everyone told Muffy that her computer geek boyfriend was a loser, but now he's pulling down $100G a year--turns out he was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
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1) The best Thanksgiving special ever (but are there any others?)
2) When you don't feel like shopping, cooking, and cleaning for a week so you just say fuck it, run through the convenience store with $20, buy anything that looks good, and go home and eat it off the good china.
College Student 1: "You going home for Thanksgiving break?"
College Student 2: "I have a 54 page portfolio due in literacy next week. I'm gonna go live in the library and do a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on Thursday."
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Fake name students give to substitute teachers.
Substitute teacher: "Who is that girl shooting spitballs?"
Student: "That's Connie. Connie Lingus. You should send her ass to the principal."
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The act of intentionally inserting incorrect and amusing information into wikipedia entries.
I edited the entry on Jean-Baptiste de Rochambeau to say that he lost both testicles in battle, and as a result rose through military ranks by winning the nut-kicking contests that now bear his name. Can't wait until some kid includes that fact in his paper on the American Revolution. Wikipiracy is awesome!
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