slow rape

The agonizingly slow unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse. Usually prolonged over a duration of two to three weeks. Sometimes longer.
Likely to be carried out by someone who believes the 'wham, bam, thank you mam' approach is not appreciated by the ladies.
Not to be confused with the rape of someone who is considered to
be a bit slow (ie. not the sharpest tool in the box) which is a different matter completely.

Shhh ... relax ... it's a slow rape ... it'll be all over in a few weeks

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God's finger

Term used by certain paedophile members of the Irish clergy to describe their penis when in the company of young boys.

Christian Brother: "Oh look ... God's finger is pointing directly at you. That means you are the chosen one".
Young boy: "I'm scared".

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Body chocolate

A polite term for faeces, excrement or human shit.

Wow, I must have eaten something rotten last night. First I had severe cramps, next thing I knew, the bathroom was covered in body chocolate.

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'Staying awake' sex

Sex, where one or both partners actually remain awake for the entire duration of the sexual act.

We nearly had some great 'staying awake' sex last night. If only I hadn't nodded off after 3 minutes.

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