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Perfectly normal beast

Perfectly Normal Beast

A quadriped with rather odd migratory habits that grazes across the Lamuellan land, providing sustenance for its inhabitants and sandwich meat for the Sandwich Maker. A Perfectly Normal Beast is a bit like a cow, or rather a bull. Kind of like a buffalo in fact. Large, charging sort of animal. They come from a point slightly to the east of the Hondo Mountains, where they suddenly appear. Then they sweep in their thousands across the great Anhondo Plains, and, well, vanish really. There are about six days in which to catch as many of them as possible before they disappear. In the spring they do it again, only the other way around.

Small birds can be used to distract the perfectly normal beast.

There is nothing unusual about the perfectly normal beast; it is the ineffable will of Bob.

I think they call them perfectly normal beasts because otherwise they might think it's a bit odd.

by Kakapo March 27, 2009

15👍 1👎


Electric monk

An Electric Monk is a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers wash tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watch tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believe things for you, thus saving you what is becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expect you to believe.

"Excuse me sir, would you like to hear about the blessings of our lord and savio--"
"Tell it to the electric monk."

by Kakapo March 27, 2009


Whale puncher

-adjective

1)One who has punched or regularly punches large sea-mammals.

2)One who exhibits the characteristics of the type of person who would enjoy punching large sea-mammals regardless of past events.

3)One who enjoys teasing others either harmfully or playfully.

4)Any man who enjoys, seeks out, and/or regularly engages in sex with larger than average women.

The connotations of this term in all it's uses can positive, but are usually derogatory.

1) "He's a convicted whale puncher."

2) "Watch out for her, she's a bone cold whale puncher."

3) "Don't listen to him, he's just whale punching."

4) "He's a whale puncher, and he gets a lot of action, but he says he can't afford any more dinner-dates."

by Kakapo March 26, 2009

4👍 1👎


Shoe event horizon

The Shoe Event Horizon is an economic theory that draws a correlation between the level of economic (and emotional) depression of a society and the number of shoe shops the society has.

The theory is summarized as such: as a society sinks into depression, the people of the society need to cheer themselves up by buying themselves gifts. This is usually done through the purchase of shoes. As more money is spent on shoes, more shoe shops are built, and the quality of the shoes begins to diminish. This makes people buy more shoes.

The above turns into a vicious cycle, the end result being that other industries begin to falter.

Eventually the titular Shoe Event Horizon is reached, where the only type of store economically viable to build is a shoe shop. At this point, society ceases to function, and the economy collapses, sending a world into ruin.

The population of the planet Brontitall was forced to evolve into bird-like creatures in order to survive the result of the shoe event horizon.

by Kakapo March 27, 2009

26👍 6👎