Crap Fap

A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.

Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.

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