Book

A Book is like .. a non-volatile, stable database that does not lose data no matter how many times you drop it, spill your beer on it, or close it incorrectly. Books are more stable even than Optical Media. Storage is only limited by the amount of space and volume that the owner can physically carry. Some storage units seem to last for years, and whilst the background colour or 'fill' of the pages may degrade to a kind of #F5F5DC beige, the actual data is still readily retrievable.

Books were used for storage before computers. The only reason computers were invented was due to the poor fire retardant properties of the base materials used in the manufacture of books (especially those books used to upset the tribal elders of religious groups) and because books were easy to steal data from. Books have also been used to store ideas for Movies That No-one Has Made Yet.

Bill: 'What's that in your backpack next to your lappie?'
Ted: 'It's a book'
Bill: 'WoW, that's 2665 !'

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Frotulation

Froh-tu-lay-shuhn
–noun
1. Mutual stimulation or massage of ego, frequently used by self-important upper management types, esp. in meetings.
Done correctly, if frenzied ego stroking is performed, frotulation may almost lead to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.
Frequently exacerbated by over stimulated creativity of the participants, esp. Advertising, Media, Hollywood movie industry meetings.

—Related forms
Frotulate - Verb
Frotulational - adjective
Frotulatory

"Steve, what happened in your first Sales Meeting, how did it go?"
"Very tiring, thanks so much for asking! There were three or four of the managers indulging in massive frotulation - a lot of love in the room."

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Decaflon

de⋅caff⋅lon
 
Having to complete an extra ten hour shift, at short notice, and without caffeine.

Bill: You look tired.

Ted: Had to keep going last night, even tho the boss forgot to buy the coffee.... It was a bit of a decaflon, I ended up stealing a couple of Red Bulls from the fridge.

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Nymphosomniac

Nim·foe·som·ni·ac

adjective

* Experiencing or accompanied by sleeplessness due to excessive sexual appetite; "nymphosomniac nights"

noun

* Someone who cannot sleep for obvious reasons.

Jane was always tired at work: She was a Nymphosomniac . Her boyfriend always fell asleep straight afterwards, though.

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PEBKAF

Problem Exists Between Keypad And Floor - Security Company Troubleshooting error description

It wasn't a false alarm - it was PEBKAF error. Dickhead forgot his alarm code. Tit!

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STFUK

STFU when you are fortunate enough that the person you are targeting has a letter for a name. Acronym for "Shut The Fuck Up, Kay."

Fully flexible, also works for friends named Bea, Dee, Effie, Jay, Em, Ti, and W.
Maybe some others for names I haven't met yet !

I'm sick of your racist, homophobic rhetoric, Kay ! STFUK, k ?

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Greerism

noun

An outrageous statement made by a formerly important or respected member of the community whose celebrity has faded to such an extent that they make outrageous comments in public forums, with the intended effect of gaining publicity even though no-one has cared what they have said for years:
See; Sour Grapes: Pretended disdain for something one does not or cannot have:
See: Tall Poppy, Australian. someone of preeminence or with a large income; important and powerful person.

Recent Greerism s
'Steve Urwin's death was the best thing that could happen for our wildlife.'
'Princess Daphne was a devious moron'

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